Is there some unwritten rule that American remakes of popular British television series are usually doomed to fail from the start?

There have been some American remakes that matched or exceeded their British originals, in terms of quality and popularity; such as "Sanford and Son" which was based on "Steptoe and Son," and the current hit Showtime series "Queer as Folk."

But when you take into account such cinematic train wrecks as "The Avengers" to such Must-See TV bombs as "Coupling" and "Men Behaving Badly," Hollywood seems to have a particularly difficult time replicating the formula that made the British originals so attractive to remake in the first place. The big screen, live-action version of the cult, marionette-populated television series, "Thunderbirds" (1964-1966) is yet the latest botched Hollywood remake of an otherwise entertaining, if dated and endearingly campy original.

Former astronaut Jeff Tracy (Bill Paxton) is the widowed father of five sons and the head of International Rescue a.k.a. "The Thunderbirds," a private organization comprised of Jeff and his four eldest sons that is routinely called upon to protect mankind. The youngest Tracy son, Alan (Brady Corbet), away at boarding school, wants nothing more than to become an official member of International Rescue, but his father has reservations.

While back at home on Tracy Island during Spring Break, Alan’s mettle is tested when The Hood (Ben Kingsley), a maniacal villain with mystical powers, storms the island with his henchmen while the members of International Rescue are away on a rescue mission in space gone awry. The Hood plans to incriminate International Rescue by using its remaining aircraft and gadgetry to rob the world’s largest banks, namely the Bank of London. Assisted by his best friends Fermat (Soren Fulton) and Tintin (Vanessa Anne Hudgens), not to mention Fermat’s scientist father Brains (Anthony Edwards), the posh Lady Penelope (Sophia Myles) and her right hand man Parker (Ron Cook), Alan takes on The Hood in order to preserve the world’s economy.

Shoddily written by William Osbourne and Michael McCullers, and directed with nary a trace of oomph by "Star Trek: The Next Generation" actor-turned-director Jonathan Frakes, fans of the original 40-year-old series will be disappointed by the liberties taken with the source material. But since this adaptation is in no way aimed at that crowd, it actually doesn’t matter since its clearly aimed at today’s action-obsessed youth who won’t have a clue about the film’s more imaginative British television origins. But they will have some issues with the movie’s rather lackluster special effects and an amateurishly choreographed and edited fight sequence on Tracy Island between Lady Penelope, Parker, The Hood and his henchmen that’s so ill-conceived it can’t even rate as a ‘so bad, it’s good’ set piece.

From the animated opening credits sequence to its predictably pat ending, "Thunderbirds" suffers from a case of "the cutes," a terminal screen adaptation malady. The end result isn’t so much "F.A.B.", as it is "DOA." And, any movie that completely wastes such first-rate actors as Oscar winner Ben Kingsley ("Gandhi"), Golden Globe nominee Bill Paxton (HBO’s "A Bright and Shining Lie") and Daytime Emmy winner Anthony Edwards (Showtime’s "My Louisiana Sky") deserves to fail.