“Star Wars: Clone Wars” is a second-rate production, so it was probably meant to go straight to television or DVD.  The film takes place between Episodes II and III of the “Star Wars” saga.  The Republic (good) is at war with the Separatists (evil).  Both sides need help from disgusting crime boss Jabba the Hutt.  Jabba’s son is kidnapped and he promises his loyalty to the side that can rescue him.   

        Anakin Skywalker is a high-ranking Republic general.  His plate isn’t full enough trying to make an ally that could make or break the Republic.  He also has to be saddled with a teenage student named Ahsoka.  Ahsoka is a kid, and is clearly only in the film to give kids a character they can relate to. 

        Ahsoka has already earned a reputation as one of the worst characters in the “Star Wars” universe.  She certainly isn’t one of the best, but there is a far more irritating character in “Clone Wars.”   He is Jabba’s uncle, Ziro the Hutt.  He has all the disgusting habits as his nephew and his voice sounds like a bad Truman Capote impression. 

        The dialogue and plot are weak.  The writers keep alternating between necessary “dignified” dialogue and kid-pleasing “casual” dialogue.  The results sound awkward.  There are also a number of gaping plot holes, not the least of which involves Jabba objecting to his son being in the custody of the very people he sent to protect him. 

        The film does a little better in the visual department, but not much.  The aliens and robots are well-designed as always, but the humans just look silly.  Specifically, their hair looks strangely solid, like they’re wearing helmets.  An even worse problem is the mouths’ failure to stay in sync with the dialogue. 

        “Star Wars: Clone Wars” does not look or sound like a movie that belongs in theaters.  It belongs in the Super-Discount section of a chain store that doesn’t care about having good movies.  Sadly, the “Star Wars” logo alone will make it a hundred times more successful than it deserves to be.   

The Rocker

“The Rocker” is the story of a washed-up “never was” rock star (Rainn Wilson) who joins his nephew’s band and turns them all into rock stars.  This is supposed to be a step up for everyone involved.  It might be more like a step down. 

It wouldn’t be a step down for everyone.  Robert “Fish” Fishman (Wilson) definitely craves rock star success.  He used to be the drummer in a band called Vesuvius.  Twenty years ago, his bandmates ditched him to sign with a major label.  He’s been desperate to return to the lifestyle ever since.

But would it be such a good thing for the other members of the band?  It probably wouldn’t be good for Fish’s nephew Matt (Josh Gad).  He’s supposed to head to MIT soon.  The other members of the band (Teddy Geiger and Emma Stone) never mention plans for the future, but they seem bright enough to be able to achieve something better. 

The band is just something the kids do for fun – until Fish joins the band.  He does get them famous, but only through an embarrassing misunderstanding that gets them in the public eye for all the wrong reasons. 

The band goes on tour, where Fish proves to be a terrible role model.  Things eventually get so bad that the mother (Christina Applegate) of one of the members has to join them on tour just to balance things out. 

It seems like the only gag this movie has is the idea of Wilson (the impossibly nerdy Dwight on NBC’s “The Office”) in the role of a wannabe rock star.  This is funny for the first few minutes, but it wears off quickly.  More should be expected of Academy Award-nominated director Peter Cattaneo (“The Full Monty”).

“The Rocker” is another one of those movies where a “cool” outsider disrupts the lives of content dullards and everything works out for the best.  This outsider happens to be irresponsible and leads the others to a life of irresponsibility.  Even if you don’t get hung up on that point, “The Rocker” is still an unfunny movie.