Master of Disguise

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Disguise</div> <div> <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="2" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="501" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="BOX" RULES="ALL" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 136 WIDTH="495"><div> <IMG SRC="133682820.jpg" border=0 width="130" height="130" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"> <A HREF="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B00006AWH9/reelmoviecriticc"> Master of Disguise on DVD</A>  </div> </tD> </tR> </TABLE></div> <div> <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="1" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="579" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="BOX" RULES="ALL" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 20 WIDTH="575"><div> <B>Master of Disguise </B><FONT SIZE="3" COLOR="#FFCC66" FACE="Wingdings 2" ><B>ê</B></FONT><B> </B>( PG ) </div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 19 WIDTH="575"><div> Reviewed By Demetrius Payne</div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 20 WIDTH="575"><div> <B>A real dog disguised as a 71 minute movie</B></div> </tD> </tR> </TABLE></div> <bR> <DIV ALIGN="LEFT"></DIV> <div> <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="1" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="580" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="BOX" RULES="ALL" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 19 ><NOBR><div> Dana Carvey: Pistachio Disguisey</div> </NOBR></tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP WIDTH="304"><div> Mark Devine: Trent Hightler</div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 19 WIDTH="269"><div> Jennifer Esposito: Jennifer</div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP><NOBR><div> James Brolin: Fabbrizio Disguisey</div> </NOBR></tD> </tR> </TABLE></div> <bR> <div> <B>30 Second Bottom Line</B>: The same people who think Dana Carvey is leading man material, also think a movie so campy and so sloppy will make some money at the box office.  True enough, this movie is backed by Nickelodeon so they are going for the kids, but do they think parents should have to suffer THIS MUCH to see that their children are entertained?</div> <bR> <div> <B>Story Line:</B> For generations the world has been protected by a family, who has mastered the art of deception and has used this gift to keep us safe. Whenever the forces of evil threaten our safety, we can always rely on (drum roll and pause for effect) the Disguisey family!<B> </B>Was that the best they could come up with? The family tradition falls into jeopardy as Fabbrizio Disguisey decides that this is no way for his son Pistachio to live and hides the family secret from him.  Fabbrizio and his wife are then kidnapped by an old foe and Pistachio's grandfather appears to teach him the Disguisey way.</div> <bR> <div> <B>Tell Me More About It</B>: Dana Carvey was, in my opinion, a good B-team "Saturday Night Live" alum.  He did a good George Bush impersonation, and who could forget him as Garth to Mike Meyers' Wayne in the "Wayne's World" movies?  But aside from a few other characters he was kind of forgettable on that show and pretty much everything he's done since.  </div> <bR> <div> So, I guess with that in mind a group of Hollywood execs sat at a table and said, "Let's make Dana Carvey the leading man in our next movie!" This movie is <I>really</I> bad. It doesn't work creatively when an almost 50-year-old man tries to act like a 23-year-old who acts like a 12-year-old Roberto Benigni. Oh, what an original idea to add a midget character to the movie, trying to cash in on the whole "mini-me" phenomenon.  The only thing that got laughter from me or anyone in the theater were the fart jokes, and that's probably because there were a lot of little kids in the theater (& because I'm nothing more than a 27-year-old child myself).  </div> <bR> <div> The problems with this movie would test the server of our web page, would fill the C drive of your computer and mine, would give me carpal tunnel syndrome to type and would make my brain cave in to think about.  The<I><B> Spy Kids</B></I> sequel comes out next weekend, if your kids just have to see a movie this weekend, go rent the original. But…NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO, DON'T GO SEE THIS MOVIE! On a positive side, this movie did provide me with my first nominee for worst movie of the year.</div> <bR> <div> <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="1" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="621" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="BOX" RULES="ALL" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 19 WIDTH="617"><div> Rated G for general audiences</div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 19 WIDTH="617"><div> Demetrius Payne</div> </tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 19 WIDTH="617"><div> <A HREF="houseopayne1@hotmail.com" TARGET="_top" TITLE="houseopayne1@hotmail.com"><U>houseopayne1@hotmail.com</U></A></div> </tD> </tR> </TABLE></div> <bR> <div> Mini Filmography </div> <bR> <div> <TABLE BORDER="0" CELLPADDING="1" CELLSPACING="1" WIDTH="579" BORDERCOLORLIGHT="#C0C0C0" BORDERCOLORDARK="#808080" FRAME="BOX" RULES="ALL" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0" > <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 38 WIDTH="286"><div> Dana Carvey-"Little Nicky"  "Saturday Night Live" "Wayne's World"</div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP><NOBR><div> Mark Devine-"States of Control"</div> </NOBR></tD> </tR> <tR> <tD VALIGN=TOP HEIGHT= 38 WIDTH="286"><div> Jennifer Esposito- "Backflash" <I><B>"Don't Say a Word" </B></I>"Spin City"</div> </tD> <tD VALIGN=TOP><NOBR><div> James Brolin- <I><B>"Traffic" </B></I>"Haunted Sea"</div> </NOBR></tD> </tR> </TABLE></div> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> <bR> </td> </tr></table></body>